Change is in the air. Josh and I have decided to start chucking all our savings, after we fill in the rest our emergency fund, towards a house down-payment. We're about to set up our retirement account (yes, I know we're running late on that, and yes I have known since I was 19 that I should have been doing it all along). We finally got our annoying taxes figured out. And more over there is the feeling of inner change going on. Nothing concrete has happened yet, but I have been internally unhappy for sometime now. I'm not really sure how to fix it, but I know that I need to do something and I guess that's the first step. And while I have been struggling a lot lately trying to figure out what my tiny place is in this world, today for the first time I feel positive about change. Normally I fear it. Do all I can to avoid it. Now, sometimes it feels like things can't possibly change fast enough. So now I must exercise patience. Gas, break, gas, break. That's the way it goes I suppose. Anyway, I wanted to take note of my positive feelings. Yesterday was stressful, tomorrow might be stressful, but today I feel positive. And, just for reference I felt positive before I found out that our dermatologist was able to get us the new fancy antibiotics for free because we don't have insurance and it cost $500 a month. Yes, I said $500. And no, that's not for the two of us, it's per prescription. But that news does help.
So, to solve my biggest inner problem I believe I need to discover my passion. I've never found it and the older I get the more it weighs on me. I just need that one direction that I can happily move in. I'm not sure how to go about finding it. Anyone have any tips? How did you discover your talent? Have you ever felt like you were missing this part of yourself? I feel like I mean something to everyone but me. Wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee- all define my relationship to others. What do I mean to me? I just don't know. All that sounds like a downer again, but I'm still feeling up. Hoping that this constant barrage of worry and fretting is just the prelude to a breakthrough.
And, while that picture probably seems wholly unrelated to anything I've discussed, she sure looks happy and hopeful. Just what I aspire to be.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Accentuate The Positive
Monday, February 25, 2008
Weekend Roundup
Friday:
-Sleep in
-Watch Mister Roger's Neighborhood and have coffee
-Work on computer
-Do dishes
-Listen to new vinyls
-Clean kitchen
-Have toast
-Clean bathroom counter
-Scrub bathtub
-Josh comes home
-Shower and get ready
-Head to Ocean Rock for dinner- Fat-tire battered halibut tacos are good, but hard to eat
-Head downtown and park
-Walk to McDavid Studio for concert
-Find seats with two nice gents, Randall and Jeff
-Make pleasant conversation and enjoy my beer
-Enjoy the UNT One O'Clock Lab Jazz Band's amazing performance
-Head home and download some more jazz- Sarah Vaughan singing lots of Gershwin, mmmm
-Hit the hay
Saturday:
-Wake up a little late
-Work on menu plan
-Warm up pancakes while Josh makes coffee
-Eat and finish up menu
-Get ready
-Head to Butler's antiques- bought an old shoe form, back-issue of Living, and a little something for a blog swap
-Over to Record Town for some more new vinyl and then next door to Dutch's for omg best burgers in town, bacon bleu cheese mmmmm
-Head home stuffed and work on grocery list
-Head to Guitar Center for new drum heads and Target for groceries
-Get home and unload cargo
-Settle into bedroom and go over financials while Josh and Matt work on music
-Eat jalapeno poppers and cheese sticks
-Watch French Kiss on TV
-Climb in bed and finish reading Bridget Jones's Diary, suspect enjoy book more since can imagine Colin Firth in every paragraph ;)
-Nighty-night
Sunday:
-Sleep in
-Have cereal, coffee and read some Newsweek
-Try and learn to drive stick, just practice reverse and first gear in our parking lot- so hard, leg hurts
-Shower
-Watch ancient Grace Kelly documentary dvr'd from PBS
-Call Steph for a nice chat
-Make nice refreshing tuna salad- olive-oil packed tuna, light mayo, little lemon juice, chopped green apple and sliced red grapes, shoved in a wheat pita with baby spring mix, mmmm
-Watch dvr'd episode of Oprah
-Try to start reading about photography, get distracted by Twister
-Watch entirety of Twister, while personally devastating rest of cookies n cream ice cream
-Read more of photography lessons online and watch House Hunters
-Oscar's
-Run to Sonic for some quick dinner
-Finish up Oscar's
-Climb in bed and start Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
-Finally fall asleep
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My Neighbor
40 years ago today Mister Rogers' Neighborhood came on television. There aren't words available to me to express how much Mister Rogers, along with Sesame Street and additional public television, mean to me. I know that there continues to be a discussion in our society about how television can affect the young mind, but I have no doubt whatsoever that I would not be the person I am without the exposure I had as a child to these programs. I learned so much from Mr. Rogers, and his dedication to the education and well-being of all children he could manage to reach makes him one of the most admirable people of our current society, in my opinion. To put it as simply as possible, a person like Mr. Rogers gives me faith in humanity. If you'd like to have a visit with the my favorite neighbor, you should check out Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor. It's not only interesting, it's inspiring. This clip is maybe one of the best things I've heard lately. I think I'll probably come back to it repeatedly when I need to feel good about something, for those times when it's hard to feel good about anything.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Weekend Roundup
Friday:
-Work, blech
-Stop by apartment
-Head to AT&T to renew contract and get new phones
-Have big discussion about money, blech again
-Grab some Chipotle
-Watch Flight of The Conchords & eat
-Download new ringtone for new phone
-Go by Josh's mom's house to pick up birthday present and have a quick visit
-Back home
-Grey comes over for more Conchords
-Retire to bedroom to watch Fred & Ginger and read magazines
-Fall asleep
Saturday:
-Wake up
-Do dishes & make coffee
-Shower
-Have cheese toast & coffee
-Watch Everyday Food and Everyday Baking while storm rolls in
-Watch Antiques Roadshow
-Look at mutual fund stuff
-Work on our taxes, blech blech blech
-Eat leftovers
-Make weekly menu plan & grocery list
-Go grocery shopping/wedding gift shopping at Target
-Unload groceries while Josh makes mac & cheese and chicken tenders, mmmmm
-Eat and finish What Not To Wear episode in dvr
-Matt comes over for recording work with Josh
-Retire to bedroom to read about retirement investing and stocks
-Watch more Fred & Ginger while reading & enjoying some ice cream
-Climb into bed for more reading
-Doze off
Sunday:
-Wake up
-Have coffee and read Newsweek
-Wrap wedding gifts
-Eat cheese toast
-Shower
-Watch some of NYC documentary while getting read
-Iron Josh's shirt
-Hair & makeup
-Head to Nick & Jody's wedding
-Lovely ceremony, head to reception
-Hang out with all the fellas, eat, have cake, etc.
-Head to Fuzzy's Taco Shop after reception for more grub with Murray & Claire, Eddie & Nina, and Josh
-Go over to Nick & Jody's house for post-wedding partying
-Sing along with the girls, laugh along with the boys, finally head home
-Crash into bed
Friday, February 15, 2008
New York City, Day 3
So, on day three of our trip we started our touring at St. Paul's Chapel, where George Washington went to service while he was President. After the bridge and a stop at Starbucks to warm up and use the restroom, we made our way up to Greenwich Village. First stop was Washington Square, where we had a sit, and then wandered around a bit lost. When we got our bearings we made our way to John's Pizzeria on Bleecker Street. This pizzeria was in Woody Allen's Manhattan, and you can even see the booth we sat in in the movie scene! Woody connection aside it is one of the oldest NYC pizzerias, and our pie was delicious! After fueling up we wandered a bit more, and made our way up to Chelsea. We saw the Chelsea Hotel, and as we strolled down 23rd Street we passed Kyra Sedgwick out on shopping errands. How exciting! After our little tour of Chelsea we hopped on the subway and headed up to Rockefeller Center, as we had somehow managed to gloss over it when we were a mere block or two away from it the day before. And after that we managed to figure out the confusing weekend subway schedule to get back to our hotel. We walked several blocks along Central Park West from the subway station towards our hotel and took a lovely last look at Downtown towering over the park grounds. Can't wait till we have the opportunity to go back!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Brooklyn Bridge, New York City, Day 3
I decided to do this as it's own little post because these are some of my favorite pictures. Day 3 we got up, got ready, and walked a couple blocks uptown to Zabar's where I grabbed some souvenirs, and we grabbed some coffee, juice, and croissants from their cafe. We headed back to the hotel to drop off the stuff and eat our breakfast, and then we popped back out and took the subway down to Fulton St. We visited St. Paul's Chapel, which I'll leave to a separate post, and from there we headed to the Brooklyn Bridge. We were really sore from all the walking we did the day before, so we just walked up to the first set of arches and back. It was still a really great experience though. Next time it would be really great to cross all the way starting from Brooklyn. P.S.- Finally figured out how to get good resized pics from flickr, ha. Sorry about the previous pics quality.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
New York City, Day Two
Our second day in New York started off just a few blocks from our hotel on the Upper West Side. We strolled our way over to 72nd St. & Central Park West to see the Dakota building and then started our visit to Central Park at Strawberry Fields. We worked our way through a small section of the grounds, eventually coming out on 5th Avenue. From there we trekked all the way to the East River for a very special view of the Queensboro Bridge, from the spot made famous in Woody Allen's Manhattan. We stopped for lunch at a diner on Madison Avenue and then went up to Bryant Park to see the Public Library. Our last stop of the day was Times Square.
Monday, February 11, 2008
New York City, Day One
Weekend Roundup
Friday:
-Work, blech
-Hit up Michael's for craft supplies
-Work on valentines for swap while watching NYC documentary
-Welcome Josh home
-Grab some Sonic for dinner
-Tidy up
-Hit the hay
Saturday:
-Wake up
-Have toast and coffee
-Research our credit reports and credit scores
-Shower
-Get ready
-Go to niece Abbey's 1st birthday party
-Head home and finish uploading best NYC pics
-Go over to Steph & Rodney's for game night
-Play Cranium and Scene It Music, win both, huzzah
-Go home and hit the hay
Sunday:
-Wake up
-Read info about home buying and credit scores in Suze Orman guidebook
-Get ready
-Go grocery shopping
-Unload groceries
-Check mail and laundry room
-Start laundry
-Clean kitchen counters
-Tidy dining room table
-Vacuum
-Clean shower doors
-Tidy bedside table
-Tidy closet
-Finish laundry
-Watch HGTV while reading more about houses
-Order in some Chinese for dinner
-Watch Pride & Prejudice part 1
-Set DVR for Westminster Dog Show this week
-Make the bed with fresh sheets
-Hit the hay
I finally got the 'greatest hits' of our NYC pics uploaded this weekend, so look for lots of pics this week!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Birthday Goodies
This was actually a pretty quiet year for my birthday. Some years there have been a full week of dinners with different family and friends. Occasionally there was a night out. All we did Monday is fly back from NYC and eat our favorite burrito bowls. But I did get some good gifts this year.
My mom gave me a bit o'cash for our trip and this great book
My bro gifted me this movie. He says it's the best serial killer movie ever. I'm waiting to watch it till Josh can sit with me.
Steph, Rodney & Rylo got me this great Martha Stewart recipe box.
And my mom-in-law got me a Michael's GC (which I intend to spend on Martha Stewart Craft items) and this t-shirt which we will hopefully be picking up from her this weekend.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Checking In
Well, we got back from our fabulous NYC vacation yesterday, which also just happens to be my birthday. This trip was our co-birthday gift to each other, so we didn't really do much of anything yesterday except grab some Chipotle on the way home. And Josh didn't complain when I watched America's Ballroom Challenge while we ate. I'll have more to say about our trip later, once I've edited some of the 500+ pictures I took. I wanted to do an end-of-the-month update on my resolutions and goals, to try and help myself keep up with everything.
- Read one book per month. I sort of missed this mark, but just barely. Actually I read an entire book during airport/airplane time yesterday, and I almost finished a second. So I'm counting the first one as my January book, the second will be my February book, and then maybe I'll even fit 2 books into this month!
- Open a savings account. Done, although we haven't made any deposits past the first one yet. Once we have established where we stand financially after all this vacation spending we can probably chuck some more in there.
- Learn more about photography and new camera. I read up on my camera settings, highlighted the things that seemed important to me, and am now taking better pictures because of it. I didn't say great pictures, but better. I need to learn more about photoshop (ahem, Carissa), and what makes a good picture better, but I've got a truckload of opportunity with all our trip photos.
- Have friends over once a month. Had Steve, Meri & Cory over in January for a goodbye game of Scrabble. Need to find time for guests this month.
- Work on learning French again. This one started, sputtered, and stalled. I'm gonna keep working at it though. Anyone have any jumper cables?
- Try 4 new restaurants. Josh and I had some awesome burgers at Kincaid's a few weeks ago. Obviously I could mark this one off completely considering I ate at all new restaurants in NYC, but that would be cheating. So I'm keeping this to a local list, leaving me three more places to try.
- Keep up with Newsweek subscription. This one was waning too, but I was able to catch up on two weeks worth during our flight last week. I just gotta make it a priority from here on out. It was hard because a lot of this political stuff has been getting me down. I hate falling for a candidate only to not have them make it through primaries and have to go with your second or third choice, so I tend to get sick of it all pretty quickly.
- Get physical. Boy, oh boy, I was pretty much failing at this one. Unless you count a turn around Target as exercise. However, I feel that I confidently made up for it by walking the equivalent of a 10K while traversing Gotham City this weekend. Now I'm so sore I KNOW that I need to get more exercise.
- Visit the 3 major museums once this year. We went with Steve, Meri & Serge to the Picturing the Bible exhibit at the Kimball. Need to hit the two others and if possible explore more of the permanent collection at Kimball.
- Vacuum once a week. I think it's been a little more bi-weekly, but it's still an improvement. Gonna keep working at it.
- Improve wardrobe. Bought a cute jacket and 2 cute tops at H&M this weekend. Bigger and better improvements are in the works.
- Use money program weekly. Again, more bi-weekly, but trying to be better about it.
- Eat healthier through the weekend.
- See a play.
- Create a list of life goals.
- Go to the zoo more often.
- Take shoes to be repaired and clothes to be altered.
- Do one thing related to each interest every week.