Thursday, January 6, 2011

Resolutions, Past and Present

With the start of a new year it's normal to look back over the last. 2010 was sort of an intense year when I think about it. I made big changes in the way I thought about myself and what I wanted to do with my life. I went through some dim days in the beginning of 2010, feeling like I just didn't have a purpose or a direction for myself. And then, thanks in part to two of my favorite people in the world- my incredible husband, Josh, and one of my personal heroes, Conan O'Brien, I finally was able to see how I could make a connection between my interests and my skills. It seems almost absurd that I didn't put it all together before, but I'm just thankful that I did. Somehow, along the road of life, I had come to think that there were certain things that a person could and couldn't do. And now I'm realizing that you, as an individual, can decide whatever your life should be. I know it sounds silly to only just be realizing that as I'm approaching 30 years of age, but it's true. I hope over time I'll impose fewer and fewer of these imaginary limits on myself.

I'm also so thankful to have had another wonderful year with Josh. He is my best friend, and the best husband. We're always so happy to spend time together, we make each other laugh, and obviously he's been a huge support for me through all these changes. He's also been great through all my weird health problems this past year. Circulation problems, glaucoma, endometriosis, crazy pill adjustments, therapy, my usual FM grumpiness, and my toe injury- he's been great through it all.

And for me, the cherry on top of the whole year was getting to meet my hero, Conan. Meeting him and his staff on tour was sincerely the best day of my life. I really don't care how silly that sounds to anyone, because it's the truth. And again, that Josh let me make this dream come true speaks to how awesome he is.

So, once you've looked back over your year, it's also typical to make a resolution for the new one. But, I've decided I'm not really going to make any resolutions this year. I made a big list for 2010, but then with all the changes that happened, they practically became moot. They were all fine goals, and things that in theory I would still like to accomplish, but my overall goals changed and I had something bigger to work towards. If I were to choose a resolution for 2011 it would be "Keep up the good work". Did I make progress on everything I wanted to in 2010? No. But I did make progress. And that's the goal I'll be striving for from now on. Keep going, keep learning, keep stretching as a person. Keep making friends, taking chances, looking for new experiences. Keep showing my husband how much I love him. Keep trying to be a slightly better me.

Despite not really working much on my resolutions once I'd made my big school decision, I'll still go through the list and see what I was able to accomplish.

.Read 20 books- Probably read 8-10, couldn't list them all if I tried.
.Exercise at least twice a week- Bahahaha
.Improve my eating habits- Um, yeah, not so much.
.Be a better listener- I think I am getting a little better at this.
.Learn to drive- So, worked on it, but not enough. Need to get on the ball.
.Get a full physical/gyno/bloodwork- Totally done. Sure, I found lots more problems, but better to know than not.
.Learn some tactics for handling stress- Check this one off too. 6 months of therapy and I've got a better (not perfect) set of skills for handling my anxieties.
.Start a vegetable garden in back yard and container herb garden in side yard- Well, I did plant a few things, but they weren't very successful.
.Learn how to develop my own black & white film- Nope.
.Have clothes hemmed- Nuh-uh.
.Finish family photos for the hallway- I have at least made progress here, and will hopefully have something on the wall soon.
.Get my Beatles tattoo- Done. I lurve it.
.Be more like Diane Keaton, Jane Birkin, Linda McCartney, Katharine Hepburn, and Audrey Hepburn- This is pretty vague, isn't it? I guess if you look at these women as being good examples of people knowing and being themselves, then I guess we could say I've gotten a little closer to that this year. Eh?
.Rent a cabin- Well, I reserved our cabin on my birthday cruise, ha. But we never did get a chance to run off to a little woodsy hideaway.
.Finish organizing my office- I'd say done. Not perfect, but pretty much everything has a place and when I remember to put stuff in it, then we're good.
.Cross 2 things off my Life List- Honestly, don't think I did this, but also honestly I need to reevaluate that Life List now that some of my goals and values have shifted.