Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sarah Lawrence Siren Song

When I was in high school my dream was to go to college at Sarah Lawrence in New York. I had an old, wrinkled pamphlet that I'd found amongst a crate full of college brochures and catalogs in a summer school classroom. Eventually, I realized that this dream wasn't going to come true. Depression continually derailed me from my educational track, and the public school system did what it could to help it. I became apathetic, at best, and resentful, at worst towards the idea of any type of formal education. Clearly since I didn't start my college adventure until the age of 29, that mindset lasted for quite a while. I don't even know what happened to that old brochure.

Last semester I was able to join our campus's chapter of Phi Theta Kappa, which is a two-year college honor society. Now I occasionally get e-mails and mailings from colleges looking to recruit PTK members. Imagine my surprise when this weekend I got a packet in the mail from Sarah Lawrence College. After getting the mail I climbed back into bed, and started thumbing my way through it. At first I was thrilled to receive it, even though it was just a bulk mailing. By the time I'd turned the last page, I was a bit depressed. A little sad to think about what I might have missed out on all those year ago.

Yesterday I got an e-mail inviting me to Sarah Lawrence's Transfer Days coming up in February. I'm starting to feel like my old dreams are just flat out haunting me now. The cost of attending this school is astronomical in comparison to my plans at UNT. And they don't have the same degree plan that I've been planning on. And I'd have to move to New York. And when I bemoan feeling stalked by things I can't have, Josh suggest that I can have whatever I want. But that ship has sailed, in all logical and realistic ways.

It's only $60 to apply.