Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Underwater

I am doing less than well today. And this week. And more or less this month. Honestly, this year has been pretty crap. I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm just treading water, but lately it feels like the water is above my head. I'm exhausted most of the time. I either don't sleep, or sleep and wake up feeling as though I haven't. I'm currently fighting an invisible foe- I think we either have fleas or bed bugs. Not sure which, but I'm treating it as though it's bed bugs just in case. I have over a dozen big, itchy welts. Vacuuming, spraying, slip-covering, washing, cleaning, and starting all over again to try and get whatever is biting me in check. I've got several tests over the next few weeks. I am not sure what my next step is with math, confused as to what is needed for my major. Realizing I have to take a foreign language. I need the intermediate credits, which means I get to spend $300 and two semesters taking the basics just to get to the intermediates. And I can't possibly keep my grades where I feel I need them to be with all of this. Josh's day job is tenuous at best, and his evening job has been bringing in a lot less money for the last year. My job is still around, and I still don't like it. The house still needs foundation repairs, which I haven't had time to schedule. I'm blushing uncontrollably now, sometimes just if I think about blushing. My leg cramps have returned.

I'll get by. But I'm definitely considering living in a van by the river right now.

2 comments:

MrsEm said...

Hang in there, sweet girl. I'm sure it will all work out. When I'm stressed like that it can help to volunteer for a couple hours. Keeps things in perspective.

Crystal said...

Apply for FAFSA immediately, you are definitely eligible for pell grants and such. I didn't pay for a dime of school on my own. You are probably also eligible for all kinds of scholarships, you can find it under financial aid on your schools website. Hang in there, I fight depression on a regular basis and have only recently found something that works. Normal antidepressants have never worked for me, they work opposite, making me more depressed, but I just got put on one and they added Abilify...my God the difference, I feel so much better. Find out about it.