Hi

Things have been quiet here for awhile. I've just been busy with school and stuffs. That last blog post was pretty depressing, and lately things are a little more positive, but still stressful. Uncontrollable blushing, swings in body temperature, and hives are my current companions. I talked to my doctor and I'm going to try the lowest dose of an anti-depressant once school is done for the semester, and see if that won't help me some. I hate the idea of taking medication, but after managing on my own for a long time and 6 months of therapy last year, the idea is starting to grow on me a little bit. Anyway, let's not dwell on the yucky stuff like hives and the two papers I have due in a week (yikes). I'm looking forward to having a break from school- my first summer class doesn't start until 6/13, and even that is just online. My on-campus class doesn't start until July. Here are a few things I'm looking forward to doing with the dribs and drabs of extra time I'll have before I start back to school again.

-Reading! I have so.many.books to read. I got a lot of books at Christmas, and I just ordered three more a few weeks ago, so I am definitely going to spend some of my formerly homework-filled evenings hitting the fun kind of books.
-Photography. I need to get some a couple rolls of film developed from my Holga and Canon AE-1P that I shot ages ago, and see if I actually knew what I was doing with those new flashes. Plus I've just gotten completely out of the habit of photography, and I'd like to fix that.
-Exercise. I know I'm always saying this, and I'll probably always be saying this, but I need to be exercising more. I guess I should only worry if I stop having this as a to-do, cause I've probably given up in that case.
-Driving. I didn't have the time or mental health to tackle this during the school year, but I'm going to get back on the ball, including a 6 hour online adult driving course that'll exempt me from taking the written test at the DMV. Then it's just a matter of lots of practicing with Josh so I can pass the actual driving test.
-Projects. We've got lots of half finished projects around the house that need finishing up. Plus that place just needs a good cleaning. Cat tumbleweeds everywhere!

Just gotta keep my eyes on the horizon and keep chugging along, I guess.

Underwater

I am doing less than well today. And this week. And more or less this month. Honestly, this year has been pretty crap. I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm just treading water, but lately it feels like the water is above my head. I'm exhausted most of the time. I either don't sleep, or sleep and wake up feeling as though I haven't. I'm currently fighting an invisible foe- I think we either have fleas or bed bugs. Not sure which, but I'm treating it as though it's bed bugs just in case. I have over a dozen big, itchy welts. Vacuuming, spraying, slip-covering, washing, cleaning, and starting all over again to try and get whatever is biting me in check. I've got several tests over the next few weeks. I am not sure what my next step is with math, confused as to what is needed for my major. Realizing I have to take a foreign language. I need the intermediate credits, which means I get to spend $300 and two semesters taking the basics just to get to the intermediates. And I can't possibly keep my grades where I feel I need them to be with all of this. Josh's day job is tenuous at best, and his evening job has been bringing in a lot less money for the last year. My job is still around, and I still don't like it. The house still needs foundation repairs, which I haven't had time to schedule. I'm blushing uncontrollably now, sometimes just if I think about blushing. My leg cramps have returned.

I'll get by. But I'm definitely considering living in a van by the river right now.